"They say I’m old-fashioned, and live in the past, but sometimes I think progress progresses too fast!"
recently; i find myself feeling most comfortable with the past and extremely reluctant to make ABSOLUTE best of my current situations.
I tend to have a slight aversion to my present place of residence. Why anyone would want to live in West Michigan is beyond me. Actually, why anyone would want to live in Michigan in general baffles me. I haven’t much a choice due to the rates of out of state tuition, but once i graduate i would be overjoyed to move anywhere else. Of course this is many circumstances pending.
God has been consoling me with where i am in life and im definitely convinced that leaving GV right now is not the right thing for me to do, since after 2 more years I’ll have a Public & Nonprofit Administration + a Business degree. Fitting in is a difficult thing for me to do here. I feel more at home when i’m sleeping in my fathers empty house in Howell on his cold leather couch while he works out of state. The more I attempt to feel a sense of belonging here, the more i realize how good i am at fooling myself. theres a sense of serenity that is always missing from every attempt. being myself is nonnegotiable, obviously i won’t feel content if i attempt to conform to something stupid.
I like it when benjamin comes up to visit me, it gives me a slightly larger scope of where i belong. I’m not having a crisis. I’m simply searching for a confidence that I’m somewhere i belong. Like the middle school years. As cruel as people say they are, things are so black and white that you never question whether you’re somewhere you shouldn’t be in life. It gets slightly more screwed up as you enter high school, and then you decide to jump off a random cliff hoping its the right one when you enter college. maybe jumping wasn’t even right for you. In middle school you had a waterfall of knowledge to learn from your parents and when you returned home from school there were nonstop discussions of right and wrong and you either soaked them up like a sponge, or let them roll off of you like a rock. But the information was there. In college the information is supposed to come from inside you and sometimes i don’t listen, or i choke on it. or just choke in general.
‘the good old days’ were simply the days we didn’t have to make these decisions.
The future is slightly ominous as it will always be, but there is no way that it’s going to be more degenerate than this.
i think id just like someplace to call home.
because I’m not ready to have my own.
Where can I buy this.
SOMEONE BUY ME THIS.
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